Waterleap

Waterleap (5 Nov 2014; Sipi Falls, Uganda)

Waterfall. Always leaping down, leaping with joy, leaping with willingness, leaping without return.

Waterfall. Each drop of water makes its own leap and yet all fall in unity, fall in community. Each drop has its own individual path though the road of the stream downward constant. Each take the path many travelled before, yet find it new in individual experience. The fall downward unique for one through the constant shape; the beauty of each individual drop’s fall creates the beauty of the waterfall.

Waterfall. Selfless leaps down. Giving of selves to make a beauty which others observe and thus recognize the Creator. At the bottom of the drops’ fall, at the bottom of the waterfall, turmoil and twisting and splashing and thrashing appears as each drop hits the stream below. The truth, though, is that at the bottom of a waterfall is where each drop’s flight downward ends and a new creation begins. The flight of individual falling ends, and plighting together begins. The flight ends, and the plight together begins. Lone falling becomes together flowing. 

Is this not the body of Christ? To make beauty, to make others stand in awe of the Creator with joyful giving of selves, joyful letting go of all knowns and make the leap into faith? Let go of rights to a nice life with a pretty view on the hills and mountains of independence…and jump. Take the leap to joyfully fall, letting go of high self-made positions to be made low, to be made love. Taking the leap that many have taken before. The road downward of dying to self the same, though individual paths differ from those leaping before and those leaping after.

At the bottom, those that leapt become new, made new, a new creation and new creature. Though the process seems scary and maybe painful, after such a leap, a full abandonment of what was once known to a full submission to the Creator, such a transformation is readily welcomed, such a transition from falling to flowing rejoiced over. The unity of flowing through life with brothers and sisters in Christ near and far.

Waterfall. After completing the jump, the leapers continue on the way of unity, unity with others who have taken the leap, downward through life, living a life of beautiful surrender for the sake of others to look upon and see the Creator, the one motivating such a leap that has caused such beauty and natural wonder. The streams continue downward taking smaller leaps of faith periodically, and subsequent leaps of surrender to rights required as the path guides down from the high places so that all the earth may know Him.

Waterfall. Fall in your name makes you sound like an accident, makes you sound like the result of an injury. And you are. The body of Christ is the result of an injury, the injury on humanity left by sin, left by rebellion, left by unbelief. Waterfall. Might your name change to Waterleap? Each drop leaps for joy down. Each follower leaps for joy after the Creator and Savior. No hesitation possible, no turning back once the leap is made and feet leave the ground.

Waterfall or Waterleap, no matter the name, I’ll continue to stand in awe of your natural beauty, and your separate yet united way.

 Let us each leap down, take the jump, and surrender rights that others may look upon our lives and see nothing but You and Your beautiful ways. 

October Newsletter Update

Thank you to everyone for birthday wishes, love, encouragement, and messages. I am so grateful to have such a great “cloud of witnesses” supporting me from so far, and so near.

I celebrated my birthday at the DOORS Home with the boys and staff, and was surprised by the best cake I could ask for…a giant jackfruit…candle and all. The night ended with true Uganda birthday tradition: me ambushed by basins, pans, and cups full of water, and water balloons as I went to blow out my candle. This turned into a massive water fight with everyone drenched, and the DOORS living room our own personal slip’n’slide arena. (Don’t worry…no one was injured in the span of our festivities…)

My birthday celebration wasn’t the only one this month, many of the boys and some of the staff have also celebrated the beginning of a new year. I can guarantee, that as each of us reflected back on the previous year, none would imagine where we are now, and who we are with celebrating the beginning of another year. Last year on my birthday, yes, I was living in Uganda…but did I think I would be back for another water-soaked Ugandan birthday? Not really. Maybe…but not with the confidence I now have. The year before, I celebrated with my mother biking in New England…never did I expect the events that followed leading me to my first Ugandan birthday. Likewise, last year I never could have imagined the events of last year that led to this second Ugandan birthday.

John 3:8 tells us that “The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Praise God that we don’t know where we’ll be or who we’ll be with or what we’ll be doing this time next year. It is evidence of His Spirit in us, and our willingness and obedience to follow His counsel.

Proverbs 19:21 says “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand.” This is true not only in each year of our lives, but also within each day. That has been the main lesson the Lord has been teaching me this month. My to do list is longer than I care to admit, and checkmarks coming slowly along with little surprises and additions to the list that each day brings. It’s been a great month here, amazing, but definitely busy. I’ve celebrated Uganda Independence Day with futbol and a paper airplane flying contest at the DOORS Home where I lived for a week, I’ve participated in a day of prayer and praise at DOORS Primary School where we are in a season of waiting upon the Lord for provision (pictured), I’ve spent more time at the school in general, I’ve completed writing my public health report for the Lira trip I took last month, I’ve been sick and recovered, and I baked for the first time in my life over a wood-burning stove making pumpkin cake.

Amidst all of that, this month I’ve also found myself growing weary. The Bible talks about growing weary. It tells us not to grow weary in doing good for in due time we shall receive our reward (Gal 6), It tells us to consider Him (Jesus) the author and perfector of our faith…that you may not grow weary (Heb 12). Despite, I have grown weary. That weariness has grown, I believe, out of my expanding focus on my to do list, and lack of intentional rest. I’m learning that check marks are less important that true rest, and each day seeking the Lord first will allow me to complete the tasks He has laid out for me that day which is more important than that to do list in my teal notebook.

I recently heard a quote from a sermon, “If we’ll remember what God has done for us in the past, it gives us confidence of what He’s going to do in the future.” Remembering where God has brought me, from pre-salvation to now, from Ca to Ga to Ma to Uganda, from 27 to 28, from my morning cup of coffee to my bedtime book, spurs me on to the adventure He will bring me through tomorrow whether it be productive or spent waiting, easy and encouraging or challenging and steep. Regardless, we need not fear, but anxiously look forward to what HE has for us, not what we have for ourselves.

May your day be full of surprises, and open eyes to the blessings He has bestowed around you.

God is able,

Ashley

Darkness

Walking through our gate just after sunset, I look at our home, the DOORS Home, just across the yard of overgrown grass. Darkness. The house is filled with utter darkness. At least that’s how it appears. That’s how satan is trying to get us to see our home, our ministry, our lives. A place deserted, hopeless, and in need. Our overdue electricity bill has left our house without power, and without lights. From afar, the house itself looks deserted with broken windows, rubbish about the yard, and looming shadows. It appears desolate and abandoned.

But that’s just what it looks like to the naked untrained eye. That’s just looking at the seen.

The truth is, this house is full of life, and full of light. If you spend enough time here, if you dare to proceed from the gate up the dewy yard, and actually enter through the front door…you will be welcomed by the things unseen. You will see joy, laughter, freedom, and praise all exuding. In fact, the noise will be so deafening that you may need to sit down for a second to take it all in. The light so bright, you may need to avert your eyes.

As you enter the center of the home, you will see Timothy playing worship songs on the guitar singing as loud as he can with Ivan backing him up on vocals and Richard beating away on the drum. You can’t even hear yourself think with their song of worship echoing throughout the compound. You will hear Morris laughing at the top of his lungs as only he can at something Fred said under his breath while making bracelets they learned in art class earlier in the afternoon. You will hear Sam and Shafick counting out loud as they roll dice and move their pieces around the monopoly board, their favorite game. You will see Bwankia fixing a pair of futbol cleats with the 3 little boys, Ibrah, Hassan, and Junior B, surrounding him hanging on every word he says to them. You will see Junior A. talking to himself as he faithfully attends to the fire and the dinner cooking above it. You will see all of this, without even a single little candle lit.

You will see joy. You will see praise. You will see laughter. You will see freedom from bondages. You will see fellowship. You will see unity. You will see LIGHT despite the apparent darkness. You will see the unseen.

Where you send darkness, satan, we make LIGHT. Where you see despair and poverty, we see ABUNDANCE. Get away from us satan, the power of the All-Mighty Powerful Redeeming God abides within these electric-less walls. Our eyes are fixed on the unseen, not the seen.

Where faith is found, abundance is found. We live in faith, we live in abundance.

II Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen; for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things unseen are eternal.”

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen.”

Expectations

Expectations.

Psalm 5:30 “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.”

When we pray, we can expect God to hear our voice. When we pray, we can expect Him to respond. We can eagerly watch for His response. But is His response always what we expect?

Isaiah 42:16, 19 “I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone…Who is blind but my servant, or as deaf as My messenger whom I send? Who is so blind as he that is at peace with Me, or so blind as the servant of the Lord?”

Followers of Jesus are to be blind, those who are at peace with HIM are those with blind eyes. Why would God want us: His children, aroma, and lights, in this world to have blind eyes? To not know the way that we are going?

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

Blind eyes allow us to let go of expectations, expectations that God will respond as He has in the past or in a way we perceive that He can and will. Not expectations that God will answer, but expectations in how He will answer. When we put expectations on how God will answer our prayers, provide for us, or lead us, we put Him in a box. We subconsciously limit God, and we limit our recognition of Him. If I pray for direction between options A or B, and receive none, I may feel like God hasn’t heard my prayer, or is asking me to be patient and continue to wait on Him. A season of waiting, right? Or…is there an option C, D, or even Z that I haven’t even fathomed yet, haven’t even imagined, and now am missing out on recognizing as His hand because I have limited God to A or B, or limited God to respond only to me as He has previously. 

Are my eyes blind enough to recognize when God makes a way in a wilderness, or life into a lifeless desert? Or am I so focused on the forest of perceived opportunity before me, or the hills of past provision behind me?

John 14:27, 29 “Peace I leave you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, nor let it be fearful…Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe.”

Letting go of expectations is scary, because we don’t know what God will do, or how He will answer. But we have peace when we have His promises. He will never leave nor forsake us, He works all things together for our good, He loves us so much He sent His only Son to conquer the grave that we may know Him. Trusting in these promises, in the God who makes these promises (and more) brings peace. Allows us to close our eyes, and blindly follow. 

John 9: 39-41 “And Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, so that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” Those of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and said to Him, “We are not blind too, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but since you say ‘we see,’ your sin remains.””

Sin is limiting God. Sin is unbelief. Sin is lack of faith in the promises of God. Sin brings fear. Let us become blind to our expectations of God, blind to our expectations on how prayers should or could be answered, on possible paths that God may lead us down, on ways that God may provide for us. Our God is the God of the impossible. Why limit Him to only what we know in our finite minds to be possible?

Revelation 21:5 “Behold, I am making all things new.”

He is working even now, living and moving, redeeming and healing, creating and rejuvenating. Whether we recognize it or not, He is. Blind eyes to expectations allow us to see our God work in impossible ways, work miracles, work in ways and means that we could never fathom.

Let us be blind that we may see Jesus, the light of the world. 

May we be blind to future expectations, but have our sights set expectantly upon You. 

(belated) August Update

DOORS family photo with some staff, volunteers, and friends in Ggaba

I can’t believe another month has passed and August is over! Thank you for all of your prayers and support this past month, and emails/messages of encouragement. They make me look forward to checking my email each day (…or every other day…).

In Uganda, schools run January through December with 3 terms. Students have about 3 months of school, followed by about a month of vacation or holiday time. August has been a month of holiday, thus DOORS Primary School and the DOORS Homeschool (for the boys at DOORS Home) have not been in session. This time off has been nice as I continue to adjust and discern my role at the school, as well re-connect with the boys during their holiday time.

As the boys have been on holiday, we have been able to do some fun extra-curricular activities with them including a trip to the zoo in Entebbe, swimming in Lake Victoria, some home building projects including a new wood-burning stove, repelling at the local rock quarry, and even a couple of science-type experiments and contests.

Last week I was asked to lead such experiment/contest with the boys. What better way to get teenage boys excited to learn than incorporating some sort of competition with a lesson? So, I set the stage and gathered a handful of supplies from the yard making 4 equal piles of 10 mango tree leaves, 3 rocks, 3 pieces of charcoal, 1 yard of string, 1 foot of tape, 8 small twigs, and an egg from the chicken coup. The challenge: create an apparatus such that the egg will not break when dropped off of the top of our 10 foot ladder. The boys split into 4 teams of 2-3 and quickly got to work making their egg carriers, complaining that they needed more tape or supplies, and giving threatening looks in my direction when I refused to provide or allow other such supplies. After the building time limit of 30 minutes we all went outside and I had each group take turns explaining what they had made, why they had made it the way they had, and what other things they wished they had had to build it. Then the tallest boy from each group took turns climbing to the top of our ladder and dropping their egg apparatus to test their handiwork. Only one group succeeded in not breaking their egg: Bwanika, Sam and Ibrah.

After the excitement and smack talk died down a bit, we thought about the contest and challenge. Everyone agreed that they wished they could have had more supplies while building their apparatus. The teams that failed the challenge argued that they would have been able to succeed had I granted them the coveted extra tape, string or whatever. However, everyone also agreed that each team had the same supplies and because one team did succeed the challenge, the supplies given were sufficient to successfully complete the challenge (and even included some extras: i.e. rocks and charcoal). Each team had exactly what they needed to succeed. The difference was that only one team was able to correctly use the supplies before them.

God always gives exactly what we need to complete the seemingly impossible tasks before us. We question and ask for more of something, or for other supplies or talents, but the truth is, we have everything we need. We have the Holy Spirit abiding in us. (John 15) We just need to learn how to use what He has given us for His glory, proclaim His presence in us, and set forth with His confidence to accomplish the tasks He has put before us.

Many days here I feel like I am not the best person for the job and tasks before me. I wish I was more outgoing, or courageous, or charismatic, or linguistically gifted. But the truth is, God has given me everything I need to complete the tasks He has placed before me here. I shouldn’t shy away from the hard things, the intimidating things, the things that scare me to pursue. If He has put them in my path, He will and already has given me all I need to complete them. I need only learn how to use what He has given; I need to ask Him how.

Last month I wrote about being a new creation in Christ. We are new creations and need to proclaim His newness over us daily, proclaim His victory in us daily. We also must live in that newness, recognizing the impossible tasks before us, and the God of the impossible within.

Have a great day and month conquering the impossible with everything the Lord has already given you. Trust me, He’s already given you everything you need; first and foremost- faith.

By faith,

Ashley Levine

Prayer Requests:

               DOORS Home: Transitions at DOORS Home and a potential move and ministry growth in the coming months with the opening of transitional housing for the older 4 boys

               DOORS Primary School: Families in Namuwongo that attend DOORS Primary School, recent evictions in the slum have left many students and families without homes or places of work. Several have left for the village with no plans of returning, and many are still struggling to figure out what to do. Please pray for them and their safety, and our discernment in how to react as brothers and sisters in Christ.

               DOORS Ministries: The ministry as a whole has been facing much opposition daily, pray for strength as we endure and fight back with prayer. Also, our new volunteer and Sponsorship Director has just arrived. Please pray for her transition here, and that Uganda will start to feel like home more and more each day.

               DOORS Homeschool: the boys are beginning classes again on Monday, for focused minds and wisdom as they progress through their school work.

               Me, personally: I had the opportunity to travel with an engineering ministry here to the northern region and serve as a public health consultant as they draw up plans for a clinic in the region. I just returned Friday and seeking what other public health opportunities He has for me. (more info on trip to come)

​Ibrah in the DOORS Home front yard. Joy abounds here

Jigger Digger

A jigger, or chigoa flea, is a type of parasite found here in Uganda. On contact, the female burrows into a person’s skin on the bottom of feet, around nails, on shins…or basically anywhere it can find an open wound or scar. It then makes a home for itself deep in the skin and, painfully for the host/person, begins to flourish, grow, and multiply by producing an egg sac that when broken, releases hundreds of baby jiggers into the skin. As the jiggers grow and multiply, and infection spreads, the host/person can become immobilized or hindered from daily activities.

This past Saturday I had the opportunity of participating in a “Jigger Digger” clinic hosted by another ministry in a small community on an isolated peninsula just across Lake Victoria. I headed out by boat with a team of people from the Ggaba market to reach the host facility and pastor of the “island community”. This was my first time ever recognizing a jigger, let alone digging them out of people with safety pins, scalpels, and tweezers. In the process, I realized the many jiggers I had in myself that needed to be (painfully) dug out as well.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, new things have come.” Do we, do I, really live life in the truth and reality of this verse? Do I accept that the old has passed away, and that new things have come? Or do I allow jiggers into my life, things that don’t belong in me, into my open wounds and scars left by trying to hold onto the old things?

Jesus said that when He went away, He would send us a Helper, the Holy Spirit to come and abide in us. (John 14) He said that we are thus covered in His righteousness, we are made holy as He is holy. Salvation and redemption isn’t a process, it isn’t a journey. It’s an instantaneous change made in us. It starts the moment the Holy Spirit abides in us. We don’t have to try to be holy, we don’t have to try to be patient or loving or kind or slow to anger…we are all of those things. “…the old has passed away; behold, new things have come.”

Too often I hold onto my old nature instead of living in the reality of my new nature. I use my own strength to try to be holy, to try to be patient and loving and slow to anger…then I fail, always. I fail and become frustrated or hurt because of my actions or words. This frustration and hurt just leads to more sin and pain in my and others’ lives, when it isn’t followed by repentance. Repentance of my personal desires, repentance of not living in the new-ness that Christ paid for with His life. Repentance for not proclaiming and thus living out His power in my life and circumstances. Romans 6:3-7 “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father; so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection; knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin.”

If we are in Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin. We are set free. Set free to be who God has made us to be, whole and wholly His, wholly in His presence, wholly with His Spirit—always. We are free from the infection of sin, jiggers.

Digging jiggers out of feet is painful, painful for the digger and painful for the inflicted/infected. God has already dug all the jiggers out of our lives, Jesus paid the price on the cross. Why do we continue to let them back in?

“For sin’s human captives (us) God never intends anything less than full deliverance (from the sorrows, pains, and misconceptions of this sinful world). The Christian message rightly understood means this: The God who by the word of the gospel proclaims men free, by the power of the gospel actually makes them free. To accept anything less than this is to know the gospel in word only, without its power.” A.W. Tozer, God’s Pursuit of Man

Let us not accept anything less than the full deliverance paid for upon us. Let us not live the gospel in word only, but also in power. Let us not hold onto old things, but walk in newness of life. Though the process may be painful, let us get the jiggers out of our lives before they manifest and continue to infect and immobilize us.

Digging out jiggers at the clinic.

I don't belong here

I have a confession: I don't belong here.

I am writing this from my desk as I work on assignments to complete a degree program that I am beyond confident that God Himself has called me to and paved the way for me to participate in...but I don't belong here.

I've had this thought when I was sitting in the clinic at DOORS Primary School in the Namuwongo slum of Kampala giving undernourished children ORS to treat their dehydration and diarrheal diseases. A place and time when I felt useful and like I was actually making a difference in someone's life...I don't belong there.

In fact, I can't think of a single place that I have been to, or really even could go to where I do belong. I don't belong anywhere here...and neither do you.

God has created us for a perfect world where His love and peace predominant, and evil and tears are incomprehensible. We belong in a place of perfect and true fellowship and oneness with God. Instead, we ended up here. One bite in an apple later and here we are: living in a place that none of us belong (I love apples and fruit, so definitely no finger pointing on my end Eve).

I continually find myself frustrated, full of a feeling inside me that just can't seem to be satisfied by anything around me. No food, no apple, no conversation, no movie, no book, no run, no feeling. I just can't be satisfied. And that's ok; I think. I wasn't designed to be satisfied by this place. I was designed to be satisfied by God.

I'm surrounded by friends and strangers alike that are also frustrated, and can't seem to find any fulfillment in life. Accomplishments are forgotten, memories of 'success' fade, friendships and relationships break, feelings of usefulness quickly dissipate as time and circumstances change, and books and seasons in life always come to an end. And yet, in all of these things many of us seek our identity and feeling of belonging. They never quite satisfy though, do they? We eat food to feel full...but how quickly does that feeling of fullness leave you empty again with an embarrassingly loud growling stomach? Everything that we try to find our identity and sense of belonging and worth in from this world is like food. It will satisfy us for a little while, but it is never long before we are craving some more, and something more.

God created each of us to live in perfect unity with Him, oneness. He created us for relationship with Him. That's where we belong. With Him. We don't belong here, apart from Him. Sin is shielding us from being right where we belong. Sin is slowly killing parts of us each day that were meant to last for eternity. Through disease and death and injustice and oppression, sin is literally killing us.

It's clear that we don't belong here, this world cannot satisfy us. Praise be to God. Jesus has made a way for us to reach where we do belong. His death, His resurrection have made a way for us to be reunited with God, to live in perfect unity with Him as we were created to do. He has made a way for us to be where we truly belong, with Him.

So yeah, I don't belong in Boston or Romania or California or Georgia or Uganda. I belong with God. And one day, one day, I will be with Him fully. I will no longer be distracted by the worries and needs of this world, I will be fully satisfied in Him. I will be where I belong. Until that day, I will find my satisfaction not in the emotions or things of this world (or try not to at least). I will look to Him and His presence in my life for that. When I walk with Him, I am where I belong regardless of the where Google maps says I am. I will continue remain where I do not fully belong. I will remain here, because of Him. He has asked me to be here, He has asked you to be here, to show more of His unsatisfied and hungry children that the reason they feel empty and unfulfilled is because they don't belong here either. They were meant for something more. And He wants them know and understand where it is that they do truly belong.

We don't belong here, none of us, and that is the best news I could ever imagine hearing.

"All of these died in faith, without receiving the promises,but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them."

                                                                                Hebrews 11:13-16