I am writing this from my desk as I work on assignments to complete a degree program that I am beyond confident that God Himself has called me to and paved the way for me to participate in...but I don't belong here.
I've had this thought when I was sitting in the clinic at DOORS Primary School in the Namuwongo slum of Kampala giving undernourished children ORS to treat their dehydration and diarrheal diseases. A place and time when I felt useful and like I was actually making a difference in someone's life...I don't belong there.
In fact, I can't think of a single place that I have been to, or really even could go to where I do belong. I don't belong anywhere here...and neither do you.
God has created us for a perfect world where His love and peace predominant, and evil and tears are incomprehensible. We belong in a place of perfect and true fellowship and oneness with God. Instead, we ended up here. One bite in an apple later and here we are: living in a place that none of us belong (I love apples and fruit, so definitely no finger pointing on my end Eve).
I continually find myself frustrated, full of a feeling inside me that just can't seem to be satisfied by anything around me. No food, no apple, no conversation, no movie, no book, no run, no feeling. I just can't be satisfied. And that's ok; I think. I wasn't designed to be satisfied by this place. I was designed to be satisfied by God.
I'm surrounded by friends and strangers alike that are also frustrated, and can't seem to find any fulfillment in life. Accomplishments are forgotten, memories of 'success' fade, friendships and relationships break, feelings of usefulness quickly dissipate as time and circumstances change, and books and seasons in life always come to an end. And yet, in all of these things many of us seek our identity and feeling of belonging. They never quite satisfy though, do they? We eat food to feel full...but how quickly does that feeling of fullness leave you empty again with an embarrassingly loud growling stomach? Everything that we try to find our identity and sense of belonging and worth in from this world is like food. It will satisfy us for a little while, but it is never long before we are craving some more, and something more.
God created each of us to live in perfect unity with Him, oneness. He created us for relationship with Him. That's where we belong. With Him. We don't belong here, apart from Him. Sin is shielding us from being right where we belong. Sin is slowly killing parts of us each day that were meant to last for eternity. Through disease and death and injustice and oppression, sin is literally killing us.
It's clear that we don't belong here, this world cannot satisfy us. Praise be to God. Jesus has made a way for us to reach where we do belong. His death, His resurrection have made a way for us to be reunited with God, to live in perfect unity with Him as we were created to do. He has made a way for us to be where we truly belong, with Him.
So yeah, I don't belong in Boston or Romania or California or Georgia or Uganda. I belong with God. And one day, one day, I will be with Him fully. I will no longer be distracted by the worries and needs of this world, I will be fully satisfied in Him. I will be where I belong. Until that day, I will find my satisfaction not in the emotions or things of this world (or try not to at least). I will look to Him and His presence in my life for that. When I walk with Him, I am where I belong regardless of the where Google maps says I am. I will continue remain where I do not fully belong. I will remain here, because of Him. He has asked me to be here, He has asked you to be here, to show more of His unsatisfied and hungry children that the reason they feel empty and unfulfilled is because they don't belong here either. They were meant for something more. And He wants them know and understand where it is that they do truly belong.
We don't belong here, none of us, and that is the best news I could ever imagine hearing.
"All of these died in faith, without receiving the promises,but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them."
Hebrews 11:13-16
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