Expectations

Expectations.

Psalm 5:30 “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.”

When we pray, we can expect God to hear our voice. When we pray, we can expect Him to respond. We can eagerly watch for His response. But is His response always what we expect?

Isaiah 42:16, 19 “I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone…Who is blind but my servant, or as deaf as My messenger whom I send? Who is so blind as he that is at peace with Me, or so blind as the servant of the Lord?”

Followers of Jesus are to be blind, those who are at peace with HIM are those with blind eyes. Why would God want us: His children, aroma, and lights, in this world to have blind eyes? To not know the way that we are going?

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

Blind eyes allow us to let go of expectations, expectations that God will respond as He has in the past or in a way we perceive that He can and will. Not expectations that God will answer, but expectations in how He will answer. When we put expectations on how God will answer our prayers, provide for us, or lead us, we put Him in a box. We subconsciously limit God, and we limit our recognition of Him. If I pray for direction between options A or B, and receive none, I may feel like God hasn’t heard my prayer, or is asking me to be patient and continue to wait on Him. A season of waiting, right? Or…is there an option C, D, or even Z that I haven’t even fathomed yet, haven’t even imagined, and now am missing out on recognizing as His hand because I have limited God to A or B, or limited God to respond only to me as He has previously. 

Are my eyes blind enough to recognize when God makes a way in a wilderness, or life into a lifeless desert? Or am I so focused on the forest of perceived opportunity before me, or the hills of past provision behind me?

John 14:27, 29 “Peace I leave you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, nor let it be fearful…Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe.”

Letting go of expectations is scary, because we don’t know what God will do, or how He will answer. But we have peace when we have His promises. He will never leave nor forsake us, He works all things together for our good, He loves us so much He sent His only Son to conquer the grave that we may know Him. Trusting in these promises, in the God who makes these promises (and more) brings peace. Allows us to close our eyes, and blindly follow. 

John 9: 39-41 “And Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, so that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” Those of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and said to Him, “We are not blind too, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but since you say ‘we see,’ your sin remains.””

Sin is limiting God. Sin is unbelief. Sin is lack of faith in the promises of God. Sin brings fear. Let us become blind to our expectations of God, blind to our expectations on how prayers should or could be answered, on possible paths that God may lead us down, on ways that God may provide for us. Our God is the God of the impossible. Why limit Him to only what we know in our finite minds to be possible?

Revelation 21:5 “Behold, I am making all things new.”

He is working even now, living and moving, redeeming and healing, creating and rejuvenating. Whether we recognize it or not, He is. Blind eyes to expectations allow us to see our God work in impossible ways, work miracles, work in ways and means that we could never fathom.

Let us be blind that we may see Jesus, the light of the world. 

May we be blind to future expectations, but have our sights set expectantly upon You. 

(belated) August Update

DOORS family photo with some staff, volunteers, and friends in Ggaba

I can’t believe another month has passed and August is over! Thank you for all of your prayers and support this past month, and emails/messages of encouragement. They make me look forward to checking my email each day (…or every other day…).

In Uganda, schools run January through December with 3 terms. Students have about 3 months of school, followed by about a month of vacation or holiday time. August has been a month of holiday, thus DOORS Primary School and the DOORS Homeschool (for the boys at DOORS Home) have not been in session. This time off has been nice as I continue to adjust and discern my role at the school, as well re-connect with the boys during their holiday time.

As the boys have been on holiday, we have been able to do some fun extra-curricular activities with them including a trip to the zoo in Entebbe, swimming in Lake Victoria, some home building projects including a new wood-burning stove, repelling at the local rock quarry, and even a couple of science-type experiments and contests.

Last week I was asked to lead such experiment/contest with the boys. What better way to get teenage boys excited to learn than incorporating some sort of competition with a lesson? So, I set the stage and gathered a handful of supplies from the yard making 4 equal piles of 10 mango tree leaves, 3 rocks, 3 pieces of charcoal, 1 yard of string, 1 foot of tape, 8 small twigs, and an egg from the chicken coup. The challenge: create an apparatus such that the egg will not break when dropped off of the top of our 10 foot ladder. The boys split into 4 teams of 2-3 and quickly got to work making their egg carriers, complaining that they needed more tape or supplies, and giving threatening looks in my direction when I refused to provide or allow other such supplies. After the building time limit of 30 minutes we all went outside and I had each group take turns explaining what they had made, why they had made it the way they had, and what other things they wished they had had to build it. Then the tallest boy from each group took turns climbing to the top of our ladder and dropping their egg apparatus to test their handiwork. Only one group succeeded in not breaking their egg: Bwanika, Sam and Ibrah.

After the excitement and smack talk died down a bit, we thought about the contest and challenge. Everyone agreed that they wished they could have had more supplies while building their apparatus. The teams that failed the challenge argued that they would have been able to succeed had I granted them the coveted extra tape, string or whatever. However, everyone also agreed that each team had the same supplies and because one team did succeed the challenge, the supplies given were sufficient to successfully complete the challenge (and even included some extras: i.e. rocks and charcoal). Each team had exactly what they needed to succeed. The difference was that only one team was able to correctly use the supplies before them.

God always gives exactly what we need to complete the seemingly impossible tasks before us. We question and ask for more of something, or for other supplies or talents, but the truth is, we have everything we need. We have the Holy Spirit abiding in us. (John 15) We just need to learn how to use what He has given us for His glory, proclaim His presence in us, and set forth with His confidence to accomplish the tasks He has put before us.

Many days here I feel like I am not the best person for the job and tasks before me. I wish I was more outgoing, or courageous, or charismatic, or linguistically gifted. But the truth is, God has given me everything I need to complete the tasks He has placed before me here. I shouldn’t shy away from the hard things, the intimidating things, the things that scare me to pursue. If He has put them in my path, He will and already has given me all I need to complete them. I need only learn how to use what He has given; I need to ask Him how.

Last month I wrote about being a new creation in Christ. We are new creations and need to proclaim His newness over us daily, proclaim His victory in us daily. We also must live in that newness, recognizing the impossible tasks before us, and the God of the impossible within.

Have a great day and month conquering the impossible with everything the Lord has already given you. Trust me, He’s already given you everything you need; first and foremost- faith.

By faith,

Ashley Levine

Prayer Requests:

               DOORS Home: Transitions at DOORS Home and a potential move and ministry growth in the coming months with the opening of transitional housing for the older 4 boys

               DOORS Primary School: Families in Namuwongo that attend DOORS Primary School, recent evictions in the slum have left many students and families without homes or places of work. Several have left for the village with no plans of returning, and many are still struggling to figure out what to do. Please pray for them and their safety, and our discernment in how to react as brothers and sisters in Christ.

               DOORS Ministries: The ministry as a whole has been facing much opposition daily, pray for strength as we endure and fight back with prayer. Also, our new volunteer and Sponsorship Director has just arrived. Please pray for her transition here, and that Uganda will start to feel like home more and more each day.

               DOORS Homeschool: the boys are beginning classes again on Monday, for focused minds and wisdom as they progress through their school work.

               Me, personally: I had the opportunity to travel with an engineering ministry here to the northern region and serve as a public health consultant as they draw up plans for a clinic in the region. I just returned Friday and seeking what other public health opportunities He has for me. (more info on trip to come)

​Ibrah in the DOORS Home front yard. Joy abounds here

Jigger Digger

A jigger, or chigoa flea, is a type of parasite found here in Uganda. On contact, the female burrows into a person’s skin on the bottom of feet, around nails, on shins…or basically anywhere it can find an open wound or scar. It then makes a home for itself deep in the skin and, painfully for the host/person, begins to flourish, grow, and multiply by producing an egg sac that when broken, releases hundreds of baby jiggers into the skin. As the jiggers grow and multiply, and infection spreads, the host/person can become immobilized or hindered from daily activities.

This past Saturday I had the opportunity of participating in a “Jigger Digger” clinic hosted by another ministry in a small community on an isolated peninsula just across Lake Victoria. I headed out by boat with a team of people from the Ggaba market to reach the host facility and pastor of the “island community”. This was my first time ever recognizing a jigger, let alone digging them out of people with safety pins, scalpels, and tweezers. In the process, I realized the many jiggers I had in myself that needed to be (painfully) dug out as well.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, new things have come.” Do we, do I, really live life in the truth and reality of this verse? Do I accept that the old has passed away, and that new things have come? Or do I allow jiggers into my life, things that don’t belong in me, into my open wounds and scars left by trying to hold onto the old things?

Jesus said that when He went away, He would send us a Helper, the Holy Spirit to come and abide in us. (John 14) He said that we are thus covered in His righteousness, we are made holy as He is holy. Salvation and redemption isn’t a process, it isn’t a journey. It’s an instantaneous change made in us. It starts the moment the Holy Spirit abides in us. We don’t have to try to be holy, we don’t have to try to be patient or loving or kind or slow to anger…we are all of those things. “…the old has passed away; behold, new things have come.”

Too often I hold onto my old nature instead of living in the reality of my new nature. I use my own strength to try to be holy, to try to be patient and loving and slow to anger…then I fail, always. I fail and become frustrated or hurt because of my actions or words. This frustration and hurt just leads to more sin and pain in my and others’ lives, when it isn’t followed by repentance. Repentance of my personal desires, repentance of not living in the new-ness that Christ paid for with His life. Repentance for not proclaiming and thus living out His power in my life and circumstances. Romans 6:3-7 “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father; so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection; knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin.”

If we are in Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin. We are set free. Set free to be who God has made us to be, whole and wholly His, wholly in His presence, wholly with His Spirit—always. We are free from the infection of sin, jiggers.

Digging jiggers out of feet is painful, painful for the digger and painful for the inflicted/infected. God has already dug all the jiggers out of our lives, Jesus paid the price on the cross. Why do we continue to let them back in?

“For sin’s human captives (us) God never intends anything less than full deliverance (from the sorrows, pains, and misconceptions of this sinful world). The Christian message rightly understood means this: The God who by the word of the gospel proclaims men free, by the power of the gospel actually makes them free. To accept anything less than this is to know the gospel in word only, without its power.” A.W. Tozer, God’s Pursuit of Man

Let us not accept anything less than the full deliverance paid for upon us. Let us not live the gospel in word only, but also in power. Let us not hold onto old things, but walk in newness of life. Though the process may be painful, let us get the jiggers out of our lives before they manifest and continue to infect and immobilize us.

Digging out jiggers at the clinic.

I don't belong here

I have a confession: I don't belong here.

I am writing this from my desk as I work on assignments to complete a degree program that I am beyond confident that God Himself has called me to and paved the way for me to participate in...but I don't belong here.

I've had this thought when I was sitting in the clinic at DOORS Primary School in the Namuwongo slum of Kampala giving undernourished children ORS to treat their dehydration and diarrheal diseases. A place and time when I felt useful and like I was actually making a difference in someone's life...I don't belong there.

In fact, I can't think of a single place that I have been to, or really even could go to where I do belong. I don't belong anywhere here...and neither do you.

God has created us for a perfect world where His love and peace predominant, and evil and tears are incomprehensible. We belong in a place of perfect and true fellowship and oneness with God. Instead, we ended up here. One bite in an apple later and here we are: living in a place that none of us belong (I love apples and fruit, so definitely no finger pointing on my end Eve).

I continually find myself frustrated, full of a feeling inside me that just can't seem to be satisfied by anything around me. No food, no apple, no conversation, no movie, no book, no run, no feeling. I just can't be satisfied. And that's ok; I think. I wasn't designed to be satisfied by this place. I was designed to be satisfied by God.

I'm surrounded by friends and strangers alike that are also frustrated, and can't seem to find any fulfillment in life. Accomplishments are forgotten, memories of 'success' fade, friendships and relationships break, feelings of usefulness quickly dissipate as time and circumstances change, and books and seasons in life always come to an end. And yet, in all of these things many of us seek our identity and feeling of belonging. They never quite satisfy though, do they? We eat food to feel full...but how quickly does that feeling of fullness leave you empty again with an embarrassingly loud growling stomach? Everything that we try to find our identity and sense of belonging and worth in from this world is like food. It will satisfy us for a little while, but it is never long before we are craving some more, and something more.

God created each of us to live in perfect unity with Him, oneness. He created us for relationship with Him. That's where we belong. With Him. We don't belong here, apart from Him. Sin is shielding us from being right where we belong. Sin is slowly killing parts of us each day that were meant to last for eternity. Through disease and death and injustice and oppression, sin is literally killing us.

It's clear that we don't belong here, this world cannot satisfy us. Praise be to God. Jesus has made a way for us to reach where we do belong. His death, His resurrection have made a way for us to be reunited with God, to live in perfect unity with Him as we were created to do. He has made a way for us to be where we truly belong, with Him.

So yeah, I don't belong in Boston or Romania or California or Georgia or Uganda. I belong with God. And one day, one day, I will be with Him fully. I will no longer be distracted by the worries and needs of this world, I will be fully satisfied in Him. I will be where I belong. Until that day, I will find my satisfaction not in the emotions or things of this world (or try not to at least). I will look to Him and His presence in my life for that. When I walk with Him, I am where I belong regardless of the where Google maps says I am. I will continue remain where I do not fully belong. I will remain here, because of Him. He has asked me to be here, He has asked you to be here, to show more of His unsatisfied and hungry children that the reason they feel empty and unfulfilled is because they don't belong here either. They were meant for something more. And He wants them know and understand where it is that they do truly belong.

We don't belong here, none of us, and that is the best news I could ever imagine hearing.

"All of these died in faith, without receiving the promises,but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them."

                                                                                Hebrews 11:13-16

GO FORWARD

GO FORWARD

Don’t be afraid.

Don’t doubt what I have already told you.

Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by emotions, or other people’s paths,

or forks in the path I have chosen for you to pass by.

Don’t be discouraged by opposition or when feelings of being ostracized arise. 

Don’t be afraid to stand alone, the truth is, you are never alone.

Don’t forget the truth… Don’t.

 Just, go forward.

I will make a way when there seems to be no way.

Remember, I am God.

Remember, there is power in My name, in My Spirit.

Remember that you are Mine and that power resides in you.

So act like it.

 Remember that I am with you always.

So, keep on, and just go forward.

Life may seem like an obstacle course at times,

 but with each obstacle that you face, remember My faithfulness,

remember My omnipresence and omnipotence,

remember that My grace is sufficient for you, in ALL things.

 So, with each obstacle you face,

just continue to go forward.

My burden is your burden, your burden is LIGHT.

So put down those bags, put down those expectations and busyness,

that only hinders the light.

Now run that race set before you, hurdles and all.

Just, go forward.

Exodus…we all know the story of Moses leading God’s people through the Red Sea to deliver them form the hand of Pharaoh. In Chapter 14, the people are freaking out. The have been delivered miraculously from the land, God has clearly told them to leave, He has clearly told them to go the route they are on (see 13:17-18), He has led them with a cloud by day and fire by night. But now, in Chapter 14, they see their enemies approaching, the Egyptians. And they fear. They don’t remember the God who had just so miraculously delivered them from the Egyptian’s hands by plagues. No, instead they cry out to Moses (not God) and say why have you brought us here to die…they don’t believe that God will deliver them again…Our God is not the God of one time miracles…what He starts, He finishes, He is faithful. SO, what does Moses do…he tells the people not to fear…God is faithful. He even tells them to shut up. 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.” Then Moses runs off and cries out to the Lord. What does God say… “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the sons of Israel to go forward.” He doesn’t tell them how He is going to deliver them, He doesn’t tell them when, He doesn’t even tell them IF He will deliver them, He simply says to go forward implying that they must trust HIM, trust His Word, and trust His faithfulness and goodness…and just go forward no matter if the circumstances scream destruction or hopelessness…God tells each of us to do just that…to go forward and trust Him, not letting our situation define our path, but Him alone.

Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you for My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He wants us to carry His burden, which is light. Could it be actual light…and not just a weight measurement? He also tells us that we are the light of the world…that is our ‘burden’ in this life, to be the light of the world…that is who we are, we are not our own. What a beautiful burden. To be the light of the world…to act on behalf of the ONE true LIGHT of the world, Jesus Christ.

So today, I pray that no matter where you are at, no matter how you feel, no matter what tasks are before you today, or how impossibly high that mountain ahead seems, just continue to go forward and know that your God is with you, He is faithful, and His grace is sufficient for you. 

GO and SHINE

Have you ever walked down a dark road at night as cars whiz by shining their lights straight in your eyes? Or maybe you have driven down a deserted un-lit road past sunset, and been blinded by the lights of on-coming traffic?

It hurts doesn’t it? It literally hurts your eyes...but you can’t seem to look away from the on-coming lights as much as you may try. You also can’t see anything else. Funny how that works, huh? Looking straight at a light in the darkness, and you can’t see anything around you or even straight in front of you but the blinding light and its source. You can’t even see where you are walking, but yet, you continue to walk forward. 

I think there is a deeper lesson here. 

Our world is covered in darkness, and not only at night. There are deeds, there are words, there are world views that root themselves so deeply in the darkness of this world. They root themselves so deeply apart from God. God is LIGHT, so anything apart from Him is in darkness. There is so much, too much darkness in this world. 

Jesus tells His disciples in the much quoted great commission to “GO and make disciples of all nations.” Jesus tells to GO. Where? To all the nations. To all the darkness. And do what? MAKE DISCIPLES. Shine His LIGHT. Jesus also tells His disciples in Matt 5:14-16 “You are the LIGHT of the world...Let your LIGHT shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” He also says, “Do not fear, for I WILL be with you, even unto the end of the ages.”

Jesus commissions us, He empowers us with His presence, with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, to GO into the darkness, and SHINE light. And while we GO, we are never alone, no matter how we may feel. 

But, much like walking or driving at night towards oncoming traffic with blinding lights, it can be difficult, it can hurt, it can be scary, especially when you can’t quite see where you are going. That’s ok. Remember what is so bright that it is blinding you...the LIGHTs ahead. Jesus is the source of all LIGHT, keep your focus on HIM, the source of the LIGHT.

May that fill your vision, consume your thoughts in such a way that fear is cast out. Yeah, you may trip for a second, get a couple of bruises along the way, and never really know where you are going, but keep walking towards the darkness without fear and know that He is near, He is with you, He will never leave. GO and confront the darkness, GO and SHINE your light, GO and make disciples. 

GOing doesn’t necessarily mean moving to the African Bush, it doesn’t necessarily mean confronting an atheist or abuser, is doesn’t necessarily mean becoming a curbside prophet or preacher. Darkness is all around us. GOing means not idly sitting by as darkness reigns. It means fighting for the truth of Christ, the freedom of Christ in all things around you, all people around. It means standing for HIM, working to build HIS kingdom here and now. 

What does GOing into the darkness and SHINING mean for you, where you are at right now?

Just remember, the victory is already HIS, we have already won. 

Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him (the devil, darkness) because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.”

Walk in the righteousness HE has clothed you with today, the blood of the Lamb. Don’t shy away from telling what HE has done for you, HIS redemptive work in you, the word of your testimony. And have not fear, perfect love drives out fear, and perfect LOVE is with you, always, in Christ Jesus; so don’t fear death, don’t fear persecution, overcome.

Hope in Brokenness

This world is so broken. I currently find myself surrounded by malnourished children, homeless boys that have run to living on the streets to avoid worse conditions at home; I am surrounded by extreme poverty, evidence of abuse (physical, emotional and from substance use), homelessness, and chaos. I am surrounded by brokenness. 

And yet, I am also surrounded by hope. A hope not found because myself or because of other people; but a hope found in this world because of God alone. God who lives, and is continually restoring and redeeming broken things, people and circumstances.

David said it best in Psalm 27:13-14:

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD.”

I would without a doubt despair if I didn’t see the tangible evidence of our living God working all around me. Yes, the tangible evidence of our living GOD restoring broken things, restoring this broken world through the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling each of His saints. God has a way of birthing HOPE out of BROKENNESS. 

He makes beauty come forth out of broken people, broken circumstances, and broken places. He started this beauty-making work, this redemptive work, the moment Adam and Eve took that first bite. Since then, He has been restoring His broken people, and the broken circumstances that have resulted from our brokenness. Jesus, our HOPE, was birthed out of all this brokenness, to bring HOPE, and to bring victory. Praise God that we are not left alone in the brokenness, rather, He has made a path to HOPE through the brokenness. 

Read Matthew Chapter 1, the genealogy of Jesus. Scan through the list of names. Warning: you'll see evidence of a lot of brokenness. Do you see the name of Rahab, the prostitute? How about David and Bathsheba and their son Solomon born out of an extra-marital affair and amidst lies and deception? Even Judah, the man who sold his own brother Joseph into slavery to the Egyptians (in fact, it was even his idea), and slept with his daughter-in-law, who gave birth to yet another name on that list in Matthew Chapter 1, Perez. God’s own Son, the perfect man, was born out of all this brokenness. 

That fills me with HOPE. When I look around me, I see a lot of brokenness. I feel a lot of brokenness. Abuse, depression, divorce, war, pain, preventable deaths and diseases, malnutrition, poverty, homelessness, terrorism, bullying, fear. But also, when I look around, I see a lot of beauty. Hope, love, friendships, community, laughter, a struggling teacher opening her home for a homeless student, a formerly abused boy offering unconditional love to a stranger living on the streets, a hungry child sharing what little food she has with classmates, a generation rising up out of my friends to selflessly serve and love the communities wherever they find themselves, at home or away. 

God loves His broken people despite our brokenness and our broken world. Our broken circumstances break God’s heart more that we could potentially ever know. He sees the starving single mom and weeps, the boy being abused and moans, the teenager mocked and wresting with depression and cries out. He sees all these things, and He doesn't just sit passively by, He reacts. He reacts to this brokenness by bringing HOPE. God is continually working through the brokenness, He is using His saints, His Holy Spirit-empowered and led saints to make all things new, to do His will and bring His kingdom to earth as it is in heaven. He calls us to fight this brokenness, to love our neighbors as ourselves, and not just sit by, He calls us to react with the power of the Holy Spirit.

If you look around you and only see brokenness, hurt and pain, take heart, Christ has overcome the pains and death of this world, and is alive even now, He is alive in you and He is alive in me.  

There is darkness and pain in this world, but we don’t have to just stand by and watch them continue on. We have the power to fight back, the power to proclaim HIS victory in every broken person, circumstance, and place.

Just say YES to Him today, YES to His Holy Spirit, YES to making broken things around you beautiful and restored, YES for His kingdom coming and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven through you. Just say YES. Say no to self and selfish ambition, and say YES to HOPE, YES to HIM.

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in HIM.” Phil 3:7-9a

Trust me, it is totally worth it. There is HOPE in brokenness.